Are Car Thongs the New Car Bra?

Published by Nadeem Muaddi on December 12th, 2011

Front-end car bras? I’ve patched a few. But car thongs – that’s an entirely different story. One that I’m pretty sure I don’t want any part of.

According to Jalopnik, Harry Balz Novelties – the company known the world over for its manufacturing of Truck Nutz – is launching a line of car thongs.

Yes, sexy panties that your car wears.

Shockingly, they won’t be the first to hit the market.

The website has been selling vehicle panties, in a variety of colors, for quite some time. To the site’s credit, they donate $2.00 for every thong sold to ovarian cancer research.

While car bras provide front-end protection from drivers who don’t know how to parallel park, I can’t image that car thongs do the same for the rear bumper. Vehicle granny panties maybe…

In any case, my shop won’t be patching any holes in car underwear any time soon. Dignity aside, I wouldn’t even know what to charge.

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The Haartz Corporation

One Response

  1. Nadeem says:

    Our readers lit up another upholstery forum with comments about this article – as you can imagine, most were funny or immature. They’re posted below:

    SHHR: AAhhhh, Butt floss for a car 🙂

    kodydog: I’m speechless.

    bobbin: I’m with you, Kody. Lol, maybe they should make them in plaid for the New England contingent…

    Bob T: Definitely a “tramp stamp”.

    Creative Canvas: Well if yer gonna wear a bra you should have panties too…

    byhammerandhand: Truck nuts, also known as Bulls Balls®, truck balls, BumperNuts, BumperBalls, or Trucksticles. To me, very tasteless.

    sofadoc: The part of the thong that is visable under a woman’s blouse when she bends over is called the “Whale tail”.

    bobbin: Hammer, they do rather make me look at the person behind the wheel with a moderately raised eyebrow.

    SHHR: I suppose if you has too much junk in your trunk, it may be virtually invisible

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